“I write to you, young men, because you are strong” (1 John 2:14). Our church family needs its young men to use their strength to the glory of God. Last week, I shared two regrets I had from my own life as a young man: I was careless in my relationships and aimless in terms of my purpose as a man.

But by God’s grace, my time as a young man wasn’t all negative: while I have some regrets, there were also choices I’m glad I made, choices that made a difference in the long term even though they seemed inconsequential at the time. I’ll share just a few.

First, I’m so glad I decided to stay busy serving in the context of the local church. When I was a sophomore in high school, a friend (himself only a junior) asked if I could take over his role as the Sunday School teacher for 3^rd grade boys. A few months later, another friend asked me to help him on his church bus route. Over time, I added more responsibilities at church.

We were busy, a lot busier than some would say is wise. I’d visit our bus families on Saturday morning, work at Walmart all that afternoon and evening, arrive for the bus route at 8am the next day and return the bus in the afternoon at 2. Then we’d have choir practice at 4:30, evening church at 6, and often a fellowship activity afterward. Every week!

I didn’t know any different but I don’t regret a minute of it. I was a young man! I could handle the busyness, and the last thing I needed was a lot of downtime. Moreover, I knew I was being useful to the Lord. There’s nothing more energizing than that! Young man, you won’t regret using your strength and energy—your time—to serve the Lord.

Another decision I don’t regret was one I made with my wife about a year into marriage. I’m talking about the decision to be the primary bread-winner so that Mandy could stay home with the kids when they were young. I don’t remember thinking that much about it. We just did it, and I’m so glad.

Most married couples intuitively recognize that this is a good decision. But they believe it’s out of reach. However, I challenge you—young man—to revisit the topic. If you think it was easy, think again. I was a pastoral assistant making very little money. The economy was horrible (this was the “Great Recession”). When our kids were still young, we moved to another state with no money and no job prospects. Times were tight. But we made it happen, and I don’t regret that for a second.

Young man: learn to do without. Shop at Goodwill; drive an old beater; live in a small house or apartment; pack your lunch; work a second job. You can do it—you’re strong! If you can create any space at all for your wife to spend time with the kids, you’ll reap a great reward. Have courage and go for it!

A third decision I don’t regret is the decision we made early in our marriage to honor our parents. I hasten to add that I didn’t do this very well and am grateful for their patience with me.

But we tried. We tried to drive out and see them each year so they could spend time with our kids. We called. When someone had an emergency, we tried to be there. And the older I get the more I see the value.

Young man, if you’re like many of your peers, you’ve got a blind spot in this area. Many young people today are cutting off their parents—treating them like they’re dead. Others are just careless: they take their parents for granted.

Don’t go that way. “Honor your father and mother” isn’t a command directed just for little kids. It’s directed to you and me! Young man, honor your parents.

Fourth, I don’t regret the times we decided to stay put and stick it out. When I was 20 years old, I was expelled from Bible college for what I thought (and still think) was a silly reason. Many encouraged me to cut my losses and enroll in another school. Instead, I jumped through all the hoops, returned to school, and finished. It wasn’t a genius move or a heroic choice. It was just the right thing to do at the time.

Several years later, our church was going through a rough time that would eventually lead to a painful church split. Men were literally handing out “cease and desist” orders at the doors on Sunday morning! Caustic open letters, shouting, silent treatment—you name it—had become par for the course. Part of me wanted to leave. But we stayed put for as long as we could. In hindsight, I’m glad we didn’t leave when things got difficult.

Young man, in your strength, you might be tempted to grow impatient, restless, or bored. You might feel like you’re getting nowhere or that life is moving too slowly. You might be tempted to compare your situation with the “greener pastures” somewhere else.

Take a beat. Pray for guidance. Seek the counsel of an older mentor in the Lord. Don’t just cut and run. And if you do have to leave, resolve to leave on good terms: face to face, with integrity, direct communication, and kindness for all involved. You never know when God will bring you back together again.