Even if you’ve been walking with Jesus for many years, I can guarantee you still struggle with sins of speech.

Know how I know? Because James tells us, “We all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man” (James 3:2).

None of us is perfect, right? Yet we are commanded to put off these sins and replace them with wholesome communication. Paul tells the Ephesian church, “Let no corrupting talk proceed out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up” (Ephesians 4:29).

Our “talk” can be “corrupting.” It can tear down, destroy, cause harm. And yet sins of speech so often fly under the radar of our conscience. We justify patterns of speech that fail to represent Christ.

Take the sin of gossip for example. How many churches have been destroyed through gossip? How many families splintered apart? We should never consider gossip to be a more “respectable” sin, less bad than lust or lying. Far from it! Gossip is about as corrosive and ungodly as any other Satanic vice. Paul says that gossip, like other sins, flows out of a debased mind that does not see fit to acknowledge God (Romans 1:28-29).

Are you a gossip? Isn’t it time to kill this sin? If we’re going to get serious about putting off gossip and replacing it with something godly, we need to understand it a little better.

First, understand that gossip is enticing. According to Proverbs 18:8 and 26:2 (yes, this is repeated twice), “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels, they go down into the inner parts of the body.”

Why do we gossip? Because it feels good. We hear a salacious rumor about someone in our church or place of business, and immediately our ears perk up and we lean forward, hungry for more. “She said what?”

It feels good to know something about another person (whether it’s true or not is a different matter entirely). We carry it around like a special snack to pull out of our pocket at just the right time. Finally, we have someone’s attention. We throw out a little teaser: “Well, you know why he didn’t come in to work today, don’t you?” Then we pause, enjoying the delicious feeling that someone is hanging on to our every whispered word.

Isn’t that shameful? We’re enjoying ourselves at someone else’s expense. Instead of loving our neighbor, we’re destroying them without them even knowing.

Another reason we gossip is because we’re angry. We feel wronged and secretly resolve to seek satisfaction for our wrath. Since direct confrontation often leads to discomfort, we resort to gossip, undermining the person we’re mad at without risking any blowback. But the “anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). Our gossip makes things worse.

Second, understand that gossip will destroy relationships. Proverbs 16:28 says “a whisperer separates close friends.” Maybe you know this from experience. For some reason, churches are especially susceptible to the divisions caused by gossip. I think this happens because gossip feels more acceptable than other sins and because Christians are especially vulnerable to one another in the church. When we betray that trust, the harm is incalculable.

I’ve seen this happen, and I’ve heard from so many pastors who watched their own congregation or family get picked apart. They all say the same thing, “It all started with two or three individuals who just woudn’t quit gossiping.” The church can weather a storm, but gossip is like wildfire: it consumes everyone in its path.

Third, understand that gossip must be amputated. It’s like a gangrenous limb. If you don’t cut it off—painful though that might be—before long there will be nothing left.

Proverbs 26:20 – “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.”

If you hear members of your family—or members of your church family—gossiping, have the courage to confront them in love. Offer to help them speak to the person they’re angry at instead of indulging their destructive habit. Yes, that may cost you. Your friend may get angry. But you can do it.

Instead of ingesting the corrosive words of a whisperer, let’s build one another up with kindness and patience.